A Shot In The Dark: Part Five

All in all, the fight with the viruses had been short, if brutal. There had only a handful of them left, holding out in hopes of escaping through the portal they intended to build, and crash the system as a parting gift to the citizens of Turing. Dennis had a ugly feeling in the pit of his stomach as he and Matrix returned to the control room. He never wanted to be the cause of such death and destruction, even if the dead were viruses who'd been bent on the destruction of the system.

Perl had already returned and was busy bandaging the cut on AndrAIa's arm. Her trident was still buried in the wall.

"What happened?"

"One of the viruses paid AndrAIa a little visit," Perl said dryly. "As revenge, I guess. We delete one of theirs, they take out one of ours."

"Well, we won't have that problem anymore," Matrix said, walking over and putting a hand on AndrAIa's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Fine, Lover." Her voice was light and unconcerned, but her eyes were strangely flat looking.

"Did you get the core repaired?" Dennis asked quietly. The Command.com was so exhausted he looked as if he were going to collapse on the spot. Perl, who had only gotten marginally more sleep than him in the last few cycles, didn't look much better.

"It's not going to crash, if that's what you mean," she smiled weakly. "But we've got a lot of work to do in order to restore power." She looked over their rag-tag bunch of defenders and sighed. "It can definitely wait until we've all gotten some much needed downtime."

"Agreed," Dennis replied wearily. "Everyone go home, and we'll meet back here no earlier than 09:00 hours."

* * *

Matrix sat on the edge of the bed, staring into space. AndrAIa touched his shoulder lightly.

"Come to bed. You're exhausted."

Matrix didn't move. "Something is wrong, isn't it?" It wasn't really a question. He heard AndrAIa sigh behind him.

"It's not something we need to talk about right now," she said softly. He opened his mouth to reply, but she continued. "And it's much too late to fight about it." She sounded tired, both physically and emotionally drained. "Everything will be all right," she continued, only half believing her own words.

Matrix sighed and laid down, putting his arms around AndrAIa as she lay her head on his chest.

"I love you," he said, stroking her hair with his hand.

"I know." It came out as a whisper as she struggled to keep her voice from cracking. In the darkness, Matrix couldn't see the tear that slid down her cheek.

* * *

"It's over, Dennis. Quit without saving. Done. And we won."

"I know, Perl. I just can't..." He paced the length of the bedroom. "...I wish there had been another way. I don't like killing."

"But you also know you couldn't do a thing about it. Those viruses wouldn't have given deleting you a second thought."

She was perched on the edge of a dresser inspecting the cuts on her back and neck in the mirror. "And quit with the pacing already! You're driving me completely random." She taped a fresh bandage over the wounds.

"Tell me," Dennis said, stopping at her side. "Are all the other hackers as pleasant as you are?"

Perl laughed aloud. "Since when have I been like anyone else?"

"Since never." He scooped her up in his arms, a bit awkwardly, as she was almost as tall as he was. "It's why I love you so much."

"And here I thought it was my amazing skills!"

"Those too," he smiled. Perl laughed then stifled a yawn.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm dead tired. You look like you could use some major down time yourself."

Dennis smiled and set her down on the bed. "And here I thought I was the practical one."

"I'm just full of surprises, love. You ain't seen nothing yet!" She reached over and shut out the lights.

Somewhere in the darkness, Perl was sure she heard something hiss. She leaned her head against Dennis' shoulder and tried to slow the frantic beating of her heart. 'It's all over, Girl,' she told herself. 'It's all in your head now.' Imagination or no, Perl knew she'd get no sleep that night, and for several nights to come.

* * *

Dennis closed his organizer and looked at the binomes assembled before him.

"I want the entire basement of this building thoroughly searched. Make sure our viral friends haven't left us any nasty surprises. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Sir!" replied the 0 binome in charge.

"Good." Dennis motioned to a sprite with pale green skin standing off to one side. "I want you to lead the search."

The sprite snapped to attention. "Yes, Sir!" he replied briskly.

"Good, now get going." Dennis sighed as he watched them file out of his office. "One down..." He opened a vidwindow. "Perl, how are things going with the core?"

"Better than expected, hun." A smile spread across her dark features, something that had become a rarity. "Should be back to 100% operational by cycle's end."

"Glad to hear it. How are Matrix and AndrAIa faring?"

"Not as well, unfortunately. I had to hack a lot of code on that worthless machine to take it off line. I don't know if we'll ever get it workin' again." She sighed heavily.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she silenced him with a wave of her hand. "Didn’t sleep well." She gave him a half-hearted smile. "Better let you go. You’ve got a system to run."

Dennis smiled. "Don’t remind me. I’ll check on you later."

"You do that."

She clicked the window shut and went back to her workstation. This was where she belonged, she knew. No matter how much her Guardian protocols called to her, even after all this time, the lure of the hacker’s trade was stronger. It was part of the reason she’d quit the Academy so close to graduation. And she was good at it, too. Not the best, but certainly better than most. Vic Script’s little girl had always tried to excel. A frown crossed her face as she thought of her father. She’d been too ashamed to go home after she’d dropped out. She wondered briefly where he was now, and what he’d heard about her.

She shoved away the wave of nostalgia and focused on the algorithms in front of her. Being Turing’s head of security (and the bulk of its maintenance crew) was the perfect life for her. It gave her a delicate balance between the guardian need to 'Mend and Defend’, and the lure of the codes.

"Cursors!" Matrix’s voice boomed through the room, accompanied by a clang as he dropped the screwdriver he’d been using.

Perl swung her chair around to the other side of the workstation. "Problems?"

"I can’t get this blasted panel off! I keep smacking my knuckles against the housing." He was lying on his back beneath the portal generating device. "I think some of this circuitry is fried."

AndrAIa hopped down from the console she’d been perched on. "Let me do it, Enzo. My hands are smaller."

"You won’t be able to see what you’re doing," he said dismissively. He picked up the screwdriver and tried again. He cursed again, sat half-way up, and smacked his head on the underside of the machine. "Ow! Stupid viral hardware."

AndrAIa frowned. "Let me do it before you hurt yourself any more." She slid down next to him. "Give me the screwdriver."

Matrix grudgingly complied. "I don’t see what you think you’re going to be able to do."

"Be my eyes. Just guide me where I need to go."

Matrix took her hand in his own and positioned the tool. "There," he said gruffly.

AndrAIa worked for a few nanos, and the screw fell from the plate with a metallic ping as it struck the floor.

"One down, three to go," she said, haughty smile lingering on her lips.

* * *

Perl fanned smoke away from her face and coughed.

"Cut the power!" she yelled. The bluish glow in the portal generator flickered and died. Perl dragged herself out from under the machine, frowning. "It’s slag, worthless," she said. "Must’ve completely fried it trying to stabilize the core."

She saw the two sprites’ faces fall in disappointment. "I’m real sorry we can’t use it to get you two to the supercomputer. We could have used their help ourselves." Perl wiped almost imperceptible soot from her dark skin. "Still, we’ll try everything we can to help you get home. I know how hard this must be for ya."

Matrix frowned. "How could you possibly know? You’re not stranded on the 'Net!"

"You’re right," Perl said with an unnervingly calm voice. She glared at the large green sprite. "I’m completely cut off from it. The only way in and out of this place is through the games, and you’ll pardon me if I don’t care to try that. I’m just as trapped as you are, if not more so. After all, the next game could always take you home. My system isn’t just going to pop up here one day."

Matrix stared at her angrily, his artificial eye glowing.

"It’s not the same and you know it," he spat. He grabbed AndrAIa by the arm and began to lead her out of the room. "Come on, AndrAIa." The game sprite gave Perl a sympathetic look and followed Matrix out of the P.O.

Perl shook her head, and kicked the worthless generator in disgust. Matrix’s temper was going to get the best of him one of these days. She walked back to her workstation and opened up a vidwindow. Dennis appeared, glancing up from something on his desk. "How are things going?"

"The core is fixed," Perl said.

"I sense a ‘but’ coming."

"But the portal generator is trashed."

"That’s a shame. How did our guests take it?"

"Not so good. Matrix blew up in my face and AndrAIa, well, I couldn’t tell you what that girl was thinking. I just don’t like this, Dennis."

"I know. But it’s not our place to interfere."

"When do we do something, love? Do we just sit on our bitmaps and let them self-destruct? Like we did with Johanna?" she snapped angrily.

"Don't bring Johanna into this," Dennis whispered. "I've suffered enough for that, don't you think?"

"If you're willing to sit back and watch history repeat itself, then no, I don't think you have." She closed the vidwindow and and left the Principal Office, heading for her small apartment in Backup sector.

* * *

The sky was growing dark as they left the Principal Office. AndrAIa pulled herself away from Matrix, rubbing her arm and scowling at him.

"That hurt."

"Sorry..." he muttered apologetically.

"No, you're not." She stopped, hands on hips. "You've been moping around and acting just plain nasty to everyone since we got here. Dennis and Perl are trying to help us."

"Well I wish they wouldn't! We don't need their help. We don't need anyone's help. We're doing fine on our own."

AndrAIa frowned. "Sure we are. Face it, Enzo. We're stranded here, we're at each other's throats constantly..." She looked away. "I can't do this anymore..."

"What? AndrAIa..." He walked over and put a hand on her shoulder. "What are you saying?"

He sounded almost afraid. Her face was twisted in a mask of anguish, large liquid eyes dull and empty looking, as if more than just her vision had gone from them. He barely recognized her. He looked away quickly, almost involuntarily.

"This is all my fault," he said, forcing his lips to move. "If only I'd..."

"Enzo Matrix, do not start that again." A flicker of anger flashed across her face. "No matter what happens, you find some way to blame yourself for it. I didn't mean what I said earlier. Do you really think that if we'd won that game, everything would be perfect now? Even if you'd beaten the User, who's to say we wouldn't have lost the next game, or been deleted altogether? You have to stop living in the past."

She paused, regaining her calm. "I watched you die, Enzo. Did you ever once stop to think about that? I stayed with you while you grew bitter and cold. I've tried my hardest to be there for you, no matter what. Even when I was dying inside, I was there for you. Because you needed me to be strong." A single tear slid down her cheek. "But I can't do it anymore, Enzo. Not this time."

"I'm sorry, AndrAIa." He hung his head. He couldn't look at her. There was too much pain on her face, too much space in her eyes. "I'll try. I promise."

She reached up and touched the side of his face, fingers tracing his familiar features.

"I know you will, Lover."

Her words sounded hollow, and Matrix hoped it was just a trick of the empty streets.

* * *

Perl could feel tears in her eyes. It was stupid, she told herself as she guided the zipboard towards her apartment complex, to get upset over such a small argument. But the argument itself wasn't what was causing her the pain, she knew. It was a symptom of a larger hurt, an ugly wound that spread throughout Turing. She landed the zipboard outside the building and went inside. Her apartment was on the sixth floor, more because she liked the view than out of necessity. The complex itself was almost empty, bearing silent witness to the devastation the system had witnessed. They'd done their best to cover over the scars and rebuild the system, but there was still a hollow place that hung in all of them.

Somewhere, a door slammed shut and she jumped, echoes of a gunshot ringing in her mind. She laughed uneasily to herself and suddenly found herself crying.

"Cursors!" she yelled, wiping at her tears angrily. "Of all the basic..." She collapsed on her shabby couch.

The room was certainly nothing much to look at. There were a few items of furniture, the couch, a kitchen table scattered with tools and components. The bedroom was equally sparse. It screamed of someone who lived a transient life, ready to run at a moment’s notice. But she couldn't run anymore. Like it or not, Turing had become her home. She put her head in her hands. Noticing the Guardian Icon on her belt, she yanked it free and with an inarticulate cry, hurled it across the room. It bounced off the wall in the little-used kitchen and clattered to the floor.

* * *

Dennis watched Perl depart the P.O. through the window in his office. He was more than a little hurt by what she'd said to him, but he dealt with it the same way he'd dealt with everything in the past. He threw himself into his work and tried to forget about it. He knew hiding behind his duties wasn't the best way to cope with the situation but he wasn't in the mood to fight with Perl.

Sometime later, there was a knock on his door.

"Enter."

The sprite with mint green skin entered the office. "We've concluded our search, sir."

"Find anything, Circuit?"

"No, nothing. The building is clean."

"Thank the User for small miracles," Dennis sighed.

"Sir..." Circuit began.

"We're friends, Circuit. Dispense with the formalities."

"It's late, Dennis. You should go home. You've been working extraordinarily hard the last few cycles."

"What are you... my mother?" Dennis mumbled. "Suggestion noted, but frankly, I'd prefer just to just stay here and finish what I'm doing. Systems don't run themselves."

He wasn't about to admit, even to himself, that he didn't want to go home to an empty house.

* * * All the lights were off in the apartment. Matrix lay stretched out on the couch, hands behind his head. Gun lay on the end table, within easy reach. AndrAIa had gone to bed milliseconds earlier, claiming fatigue. Frisket lay in front of the couch, whimpering in his sleep. Matrix sat up. The couch was too small, and he was getting a crick in his neck. He reached down and patted Frisket on the head.

"Chasing nulls again, boy?"

He got up and went into the bedroom. AndrAIa was laying on her side, facing away from him. He didn't think she was asleep. She didn't move as he climbed in next to her. He lay there a moment, just looking at her. Funny, he'd never realized just how much he took her presence for granted. He half sat up and put a hand on her shoulder, his thumb trailing across the scale-like pattern on the back of her arm.

"You awake?"

"Yeah," she sighed softly. She didn't turn around.

"Do you...want to talk?"

"Not really, Matrix."

He frowned. She only called him Matrix when she was upset with him. "Are you mad at me?"

"No. I'm tired, Enzo. Let me be."

"All right," he sighed and lay back down and stared hard at the ceiling. The silence was killing him.

"We need to talk," he said finally. He heard her sigh again, but this time she turned to face him. Her face glowed palely in the dim light. "We need... a plan," he said.

"A plan?" she asked, confused. She propped herself up on one elbow. "What sort of plan?"

"We decided we were going to take charge. Find Bob and get back to Mainframe."

"Enzo... we can't. I'll go ahead and admit it. I'm too afraid to go into the games."

"I don't want you going either." He brushed a stray strand of hair out of her face. "Which leaves us back at the start. We can't leave Turing unless your sight returns."

"I don't think it's going to, Enzo," she said sadly. "And I think I can learn to live with it. But what about you? I know how badly you want to go home."

"What about you? Don't you want to see Mainframe again?" He saw her flinch and realized what he'd said. "Sorry."

"You didn't do it on purpose, Sparky. And of course I'd like to get back to Mainframe. I want to see Dot and Phong and Mouse again as much as you do. But Mainframe isn't my home. You are."

"A person can't be your home," he said, annoyed.

"Why not? You're where I feel safe. That makes you home." She reached out and ruffled his hair. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

He took her hand in his. "You deserve better than this!"

"You can't make everything perfect, Enzo. You can't give me my sight back. Only a miracle can do that. We need to build ourselves a new life."

"I can't! We've searched for so long, AndrAIa! Mainframe might be a game away. We can't give up. You told me the same thing, not long ago. You told me not to lose hope."

"The circumstances were different then. And I never said we should give up! But we need to face the facts. We can't search for Mainframe through the games anymore, unless you're willing to leave me behind. That is an option, you know. You can keep playing and I'll..."

"I am not abandoning you here!" He shouted.

"Hush! Not abandon. You can find Mainframe and then come back for me."

"No. Absolutely out of the question. How could you even suggest that? I'm lost without you, AndrAIa."

"Okay. So you're not willing to go look for Mainframe on your own. Then we only have one other option. We stay here, assist Dennis and Perl anyway we can, and hope that either someone from outside the system with portal generating capabilities arrives, or that we repair the ports to the 'Net."

Matrix shook his head. "No. I'm not going to accept that. There has to be another way!"

"There isn't, Matrix. We've been through a lot together. This is just one more obstacle we'll have to overcome. We can do it, Lover." She squeezed his hand. "But I can't do this alone."

"Did I ever tell you how much I hate it when you're right?"

"Love you too, you stubborn null-head," she quipped, and leaned over to kiss him.

"Null-head?!"

"Oh, be quiet," she laughed, and snuggled closer. "You going to keep arguing with me or..."

"I'm shutting up!" he grinned.

* * *

AndrAIa lay awake, staring at the darkened ceiling. Matrix was sleeping soundly, his arms wrapped around her protectively. It was amazing the way they always managed to skate around their arguments, creating innumerable fragile truces but never solving anything. They were, essentially, still at square one. They'd made up what seemed dozens of times, but the core problem remained. They couldn't continue the search for Mainframe, and she was what was holding them back. How often in the last few cycles had she thought of leaving? She was as good as deleted on her own in the Games, but oddly enough, that didn't frighten her nearly as much as the prospect of Matrix leaving her.

She'd never been on her own before. Well, that wasn't strictly true, she knew she'd been on her own in the games, but she didn't really remember any of that. Her first real clear memory was of waking up in the sub with Enzo. And he'd never left her side since. She simply couldn't live without him. She laughed aloud at herself. Here she was, a grown sprite, a warrior, someone who had faced down countless Users, had even, back before the game that had changed their lives forever, threatened Megabyte with her crossbow! And yet, she couldn't stand the thought of being alone.

It was perfectly ridiculous but absolutely true. She had no past outside of Enzo, and without him, she had no future. And yet, fully aware of this, she was still unable to open up to him. Usually it was the other way around. She was usually the one who had to coax Matrix into opening up and telling her what was on his mind. Instead, he'd been trying to do the same for her all second. Truth was, all she wanted was for the hurt and the fear to go away. He couldn't do that for her. Again the thought of leaving crossed her mind. Slip out one night, wait for a game, and simply vanish.

She couldn't believe these thoughts were even occurring to her. She was actually considering what all but constituted as suicide! Yet, she couldn't force the thoughts away. The best she could do was bury them and nestle deeper into Enzo's protective embrace, trusting him to shut out the darkness, if only for a little while.

* * *

Perl lay awake in the darkness for a long time. The ghosts of her past were dogging her relentlessly and she couldn't sleep. Getting up, she padded quietly over to her dresser. She stared down at the two items on the top of her dresser. One was Lotus, her keytool. She picked up the battered box and held it in the palm of her hand. Lotus beeped weakly and the display flickered briefly before going black again. She set it down again with a sigh. The other was a small oval locket of gold. She snapped it open and looked at the pictures inside. One was of a woman who looked almost identical to herself, with the same skin, hair, and eye color. Her mother.

She'd been deleted by a virus when Perl had been a very small sprite. It was part of the reason Perl had wanted so badly to become a Guardian. To get revenge. It didn't matter that the particular virus responsible for her mother's demise was long erased. She wanted pay back for all the years she'd lost with her.

The other picture was of her father. His steel gray eyes looked out sternly at her. This particular photo had been taken while he was still working at the Principal Office of her home system. After her mother had deleted, he'd taken Perl and moved to a less populated sector of the system, doing his best to raise her on his own.

She snapped the locket closed and held it tightly in her hand. She'd lost them both now. She'd disappointed her father and betrayed her mother's memory. She couldn't go home, no matter how much she wished otherwise. Turing was her home now, and she knew that if she didn't act, she was going to destroy her only chance at finding any happiness. She set the locket down next to Lotus and left the room. She left the apartment building, decompressing her zipboard. If she knew Dennis at all, he'd still be in the P.O. tying up loose ends. She hopped onto the zipboard and headed for the distant tower.

End Part Five

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